Jets Great Season! Ending with a Loss

So how do you assist an athlete to integrate the experience of training and competing for almost 7 months, making your conference championship, beating all the odds and naysayers predictions but losing one step before the world championship game? The solution is understanding that we are mentally and emotionally complicated and that grief and exhilaration or euphoria and dejection can coexist. The mistake often made by well intentioned consoling efforts, when a crestfallen athlete's terrific accomplishments fall short of the ultimate goal, is the attempt at cheering up or encouraging to look at the "bright side". Unfortunately, this attempt to change the athlete's dejected and saddened emotional state can actually create more misery. The athlete is aware they worked hard, practiced well and achieved much. Regardless, they are stung by the failure to reach a striven for goal. There is a necessary period of mourning-like sadness which must take a natural process over time to dissipate. Truely helpful responses resonate with the athlete's disappointment, possible regrets, self-questioning, and even possible guilt feelings. The reaction of the athlete does not have to make logical sense or seem reasonable given the tremendous accomplishment ending in defeat or failure to attain the goal. Empathy for and validation of the athletes tragic loss must be cleary expressed. Nothing feels so right to the athlete then when they are joined in an emotional connection at a time of agonizing failure. Remember, truly being with a person as they suffer, and not trying to make them change, can be the greatest gift of caring and kindness.

Maintaining your effectiveness during the Holidays

It seems that beginning with Halloween, and straight until after New Year's, it is easy to psychologically "take the rest of the year off". The motivation for this switch to throttling back can differ from person to person. The most frequent factor, in my experience, seems to be the need for taking time off from the demands in one's life. The "holiday season" with parties, childhood memories of festive and joyful times, family get-togethers, gift giving, and days off from work all create a time which is less usual than the rest of the year. It also creates a time frame for breaking from one's consistency and discipline. Why would we do that? Why does it feel so good for so many to do that? I think that duri ng the rest of the year there must be more attention given to allowing creativity, spontaneity, freedom of expression and playfulness. Filling one's week without these energy revitalizing elements leads to emotional and spiritual drain. When the holiday season arrives, it becomes a socially sanctioned period during which many people allow themselves opportunities that are otherwise avoided or prohibited. It is interesting how much more resting, vacation days, visits to the gym, and generally better balance in daily activities are pursued. My contention is that it shouldn't be the last 2 months of the year where personal life balance and more rewarding lifestyles are permitted. If the Halloween to New Year's stretch feels like your escape period, take a closer look at adjusting your time and activities to better meet your needs during the rest of the year.